On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
