I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
