Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
