I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Randomize
