I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
