I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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