he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
How's work?
Spinning.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
