I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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