Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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