I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm getting married
To pizza
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize