So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
