Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
