The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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