Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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