Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
