Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
