My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Green mimosas i think yes
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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