Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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