he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
