As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
