We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
how drunk are you?
Several
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
