Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
