i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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