I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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