mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
