apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
