I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I smell like Dick and happiness
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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