Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
