Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
