I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
