i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
