He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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