But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
