Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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