dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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