Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
