PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
