Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
