four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just had sex on a roof
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
