you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
