I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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