A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
