Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
