so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
They have beer where we have blood.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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