Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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