How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
