Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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