Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
vagina is talking i cant
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
