Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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