Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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