I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize