I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
