my mouth tastes like poor choices
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
