It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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