Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
