you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
