You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
