I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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