I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
