Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Actions speak louder than pants.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Im part way to drunk.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
How naked do you want me to be?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
