apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
