She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
