he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize