Jerry, you need to find god
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
