We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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