mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
