dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize