Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
