there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
no you cant smoke seaweed
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize