So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize