im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
