I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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