Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
